I first want to say a heartfelt thank you from my mom, my sister and myself to all of you that could be here today to help honor and celebrate my dad.

Also I want to thank Pastor David and his wife Hazel for helping us to put on this wonderful celebration today. 

- To Phyllis Kemp for her beautiful music during the prelude

- To David and Jeanne Greene for their beautiful performance of Amazing Grace

- To my nephew Brandon and my son Kyle for their scripture readings

- To Shirley Timm for all the gorgeous flower arrangements you see here today

- To Fred Longley for helping everyone with the parking and getting them to this room

- Liz Spitler and the Paradise workers for putting up all the flags you see outside 

- To all the Paradise Park helpers for setting everything up and providing refreshments and some of the food for today

- and to all of you that have been there for my mom during this time and for all the thoughts and prayers you have given us. I apologize for anyone that I didn’t mention, but please know that we are truly grateful and appreciative to all of you!

My dad was not a man of many words, so in honoring him today I will try and be brief, but I did inherit my extremely talkative side from my mother, so I will do my best.

Many people say that they have the greatest dad in the world or the best dad ever. I know a few of the dads in this room and I would have to admit that you are all pretty great. I don’t know who could ever claim the title of “Greatest Dad Ever”, but I would like to share just a few things of why I feel my dad is Great!

As I said many of you know my dad was a man of few words. Don’t get me wrong, you could get him talking and he was fun to be around, but many times he would just sit back and listen and take in the moment of just being with family and friends.

To give you an example, I told pastor David that I was going to share this with everyone today and he recommended that I should probably clean it up. When I was about 15 years old my dad gave me “well let’s call it the Birds and the Bees talk - Doug Burkard style” (and No Art he didn’t say “Go ask your mother”) It took place while we were at a stop light by our house and lasted probably a whole 11½ seconds. I did manage to have 3 sons later on, but I can’t say I can contribute that to “THE TALK”, Sorry Pops!

Because my dad was more on the quiet side, his actions spoke louder than his words, unless you were on the other end of one his loud “Knock It Off” yells he would give me, my sister and my cousins when we were kids, if we playing around at night and not going to sleep like we were supposed to.

Or him sitting there with his serious look, large stature and arms crossed, which made many of my sister’s boyfriends nervous while growing up.  Or the nerve pinching one hand Vulcan Grip that myself and a few of my buddy’s were on the receiving end of many times.

My mom and dad are High School Sweethearts and have been married for 54 years. I saw my dad work hard all is life. Matter a fact when we were growing up as kids in Buffalo, NY, my dad worked 3 jobs just so my mom could stay home and raise me and my sister. This had a huge impact on me and taught me to commit to your work, show up each day, do your best and take care of your family. It wasn’t until I was older and had my own children did I find out that my dad felt bad about not being around much when me and my sister were younger. I can honestly say I never felt like I didn’t have my dad around during those years, because when he was with us, he was present, whether it was a family vacation to Vermont, helping me build pinewood derby cars in cub scouts or shooting hockey pucks in our driveway in Buffalo.

Later on when the grandkids came along, mom and dad would take one of the grandkids with them each summer on the road in their RV to wherever the grandkid wanted to go. No brother or sister to say I don’t want to go there or I don’t want to eat that, just the one grandkid with grandma and grandpa having amazing experiences and creating memories that will last each of their lifetimes.

My dad was an honest man and full of integrity. If he told you something or gave you his word, it was “golden”, and you could count on him. In addition to family, I know there are people here today, that are not family, that have either worked with my father or did business with him over the years, and I know that they would back up that statement 1,000%.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said “Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what the reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character.” and I believe my dad did that well.

My dad’s character allowed him to earn the respect of not just his family, but many friends and acquaintances as well. I have heard from multiple people telling me how much they loved, respected and valued his friendship, and I want to say thank you to all that have expressed that to me, my mom or my sister. I will never tire of hearing those sentiments about my dad.

And probably the greatest gift of all from my dad was his love and his love for his family. My dad would say that “we may not be rich financially, but we are rich because of our family” and as cliche as that might sound, I have come to learn that that’s TRUE WEALTH. 

My dad’s favorite holiday was Thanksgiving, because it was family and friends all getting together and spending time with one another.  My dad thou didn’t need any special occasions to enjoy his time spent with family and friends:

He truly enjoyed being together, whether it was:

• our yearly vacations at our timeshare in Sedona with the family, 
• game nights at the house with us and the grandkids along with DeAndra, Ajla (aka Pickles), and Gina, 
• attending his grandkids sporting events, 
• holding his new great grand daughter Nina, 
• sipping Amaretto and talking with his sister Eileen whether it was in person or just over the phone, 
• or spending time with his brother Duane and sister-in-law Pat like he did on their 50th anniversary cruise, 
• spending a beautiful day on the lake with his little brother Keith and his sister-in-law Kathy on their boat, 
• And still loving his brother Richard even after he bought me a dog for my birthday one year when I was a kid, 
• or the many vacations traveling, and the many times spent with his sister-in-law Joan and brother-in-law Roy, 
• Or just washing dishes after a nice dinner with his Aunt Joan and Uncle Gerry and Aunt Joan watching the two of them as they wouldn’t let her wash, because that was dad and Uncle Gerry’s time together, 
• or listening and watching the jokes and pranks of his brother-in-law Dick 
• or given my cousin Denise a hard time while making sure my cousin Danny and I were not getting into trouble, 
• talking with my wife Jenn about her healthy, natural medicines and the healthy remedies she would share with my dad 
• or listening to my brother-in-law Steve, break his silence with a quick witted thought. 

He truly cherished these moments.

He so loved my mom and his family, and was so proud of his grandkids, of being a great grandpa, and of his children, well at least of my sister...just kidding.

I will always cherish the lessons he taught me, and the great example he was of what it is to be a good father, husband, son, brother, brother-in-law, Uncle, grandfather, great grandfather, (and in the words of Tim McGraw - A friend a friend would like to have), and just an all around good person and a GREAT GUY!

These are some of the gifts he gave to me, my sister, my mom, his family and all of his friends, and I will be ever so grateful for that. 

Now I would like to share a few things I have learned from this experience of my dad's passing.

Many people don’t know what to say to you when you have lost someone, and that’s ok. It is challenging to find the right words to say and usually the best you can do is to offer your condolences, thoughts and prayers. I found that it’s not so much what someone says, but the fact that they are there and offering their help in anyway they can. It is nice to just have someone there supporting you, whether a family member or friend, even if you just sit there together in silence. So thank you to everyone that has offered their condolences, thoughts, prayers, help, love and support. As I can say for myself, and on behalf of my mom and my sister, it is greatly appreciated and truly means a lot.

Everyone grieves differently, in their own way and in their own time. I don’t believe it is as clear cut as the 5 stages of grief you must go through, or that you should only grieve for the first year of losing someone you love. You should be able to grieve in your own way and for however long it feels right for you. It is a personal journey. I do believe that grieving can be a long process, but that you will eventually move from grieving in Pain to grieving in LOVE!

My dad had a big impact on many people and I don’t think he realized just how much.

I have heard numerous stories of my dad either helping someone in the RV park take some trash to the dumpster, or giving a wooden heart (my cousin Lea made for my dad) to a woman who was suffering from a health issue that she said gave her a sense of Peace during that time, or just dropping off a thermos of coffee in the morning on a neighbors steps before heading to work because he knew that that person enjoyed a morning cup of coffee. 

We tend to brush off these gestures as small acts of kindness, that are no big deal, but they do mean something and they do have an impact on the person on the receiving end of your kindness. My dad’s quiet nature allowed him to be present when he was with you and to really listen to you and to hear what you were saying. This is a quality of my dad that I am working to get better at. Little things do mean a lot and sometimes you don’t realize how important or how meaningful that act of kindness and thoughtfulness means to that individual. No one goes through this world all on their own, and my dad understood that!

Maya Angelou said “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I know how my dad made me feel and how he made my family feel, but it makes me proud that he also made his friends and others feel loved and special as well.

Finally I would like to finish up with two things.

In 2000, my dad’s mom passed away.   While we were on our annual family vacation in Sedon, my dad took me, my sister and my mom to “The Chapel of the Holy Cross” which is built into the beautiful red rocks of Sedona.

While we were there my dad shared this story with us and now I would like to share it with all of you. But this just wasn’t a nice story my dad shared with us that day, this is something that we continue to say today to each other all the time and our kids say this now as well. I don’t know how many of you may have heard this story before, but I would like to pass this onto all of you as a gift from my dad and I hope that it touches your hearts and has some meaning as it has for our family and that it may be something you choose to share with your family and friends.

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough too Dad.'

They kissed and the daughter left.

The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?". The Father replied, "I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," he said. 

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.'

May I ask what that means?'"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them."

Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."
 

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them. I don’t believe we ever forget them!

Remember to tell your family and friends that you wish them enough!

To all of you, I wish you enough.

And to you pops, ENOUGH!

And Lastly….Two days after my dad passed I heard this song on the radio while driving home from the store. The words were perfect and though my heart was filled with sadness, this song seemed to lighten some of that sadness, so I shared it with my mom and my sister. 

I would like to invite you now to watch a video I put together to this song and have you listen to the words that I heard that day.

Thank you!